Thursday, January 1, 2015

I Have Never Met Anyone Who Has a Child Like Mine… Until Now

A few weeks ago, I received a call from a mama who had heard about Ore Academy. With her permission, I share some of our conversation. 

She began telling me about raising her five year old son, who is often referred to as a genius. He does algebra, and reads and writes in many languages. The more she talked the more I knew exactly what she was talking about. In a lot of ways it was like she was describing my child and my home. I was amazed at the similarities. When I told her about my son, Adam, there was a long pause, followed by, "I have never met anyone who has a child like mine."

I have never met anyone who has a child like mine.

Both boys have a hard time making meaningful childhood friends. In her words, "The other children aren't interested in what he is interested in, and go off to play, while he continues what he was doing." We had both experienced environments where teachers or coaches just did not know what to do with our little boys. We discussed our desire to not only meet each other, but for our sons to meet.

Leta Hollingworth, a pioneer in understanding and advocating for the profoundly gifted, wrote:
[Most profoundly gifted children] play little with other children unless special conditions such as those found in a special class for the gifted are provided. They have great difficulty in finding playmates in the ordinary course of events who are congenial both in size and in mental ability. Thus they are thrown back upon themselves to work out forms of solitary intellectual play.
I got off the phone and cried. I had finally found someone who had a child like mine. I had found someone who understood the intensities, hardships, and joys I lived with, a family who needs what Ore Academy has to offer as much as my family does. 

That afternoon I told my son, Adam, about this little boy. He watched the videos of this little boy intently. He then asked "How old is that boy?" When I told him he was five, I saw disappointment come over his face. I then pointed out that even though they were not the same age they had a lot in common and could still be friends. Adam's whole self lit up. That night when Daddy got home Adam made a chart to tell him about his new friend. He had a column for himself, Daddy, and the friend. He listed his own interests and likes under each column. He then marked if Daddy and this boy shared his interests. Question marks where used for unknown information. 



Did finding someone, even if by long distance, have an effect on my six year old? Yes!

I have met someone who is like me.

Did meeting a mama like me have an effect on me? Yes! 

I am someone who tries to hide emotions, and am usually pretty good at it. I try to put on a strong face. This time I could not. The tears came. I needed to share my experience. Through tears and choking up I got on the phone and called my brother. After my story ended, he said "What I am hearing is community. You need community." He hit the nail on the head. That is what my precious boy, my family, and I were missing. Someone who understood. I then called the camp directors and staff of Ore Academy; they needed to know about this experience. This is what Ore Academy is about. 

To those of you who are raising profoundly gifted children, know you are not alone. I am going through the trenches with you. I too am exhausted from the intensities that come with having profoundly gifted children. I know what it is like not to be able to share in a normal mommy group what my normal looks and feels like. I also yearn to share the intense joys and awe that come from raising these amazing children without trying to sound like I am putting my children on a pedestal.

With the help of God, I am dedicating the energy I did not know I had to advocating for profoundly gifted children and their families. We need a place where our families finally fit. I urge you to become part of the Ore Academy community. We desperately need each other. Come know what it feels like to be able to say, "I have never met anyone who has a child like mine… until now."

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